Adoption is one of the most loving things a parent can do. Taking a child that you didn’t know, who’s wounded, broken, and bruised can be one of the hardest and most amazing undertakings. And now, they are yours. No matter what comments people make about different genetics, appearances, etc. they (will) carry you name as well as your love.

The challenge comes (and it will come!) when broken places come out through distance or behaviors in your home. When we promise to love people in their broken places, we also often forget how squishy our own broken places can be. This child is now your child, and their wounds will wound you where you’ve been wounded before, even if you haven’t been aware of it.

Letting their guard down into your love may be perceived as the most dangerous thing your child can do. After all, even if your child was brought in at birth, they carry an implicit primal wound of from the person who was most important to them. If they are older, likelihood is they may even have conscious memory of love and danger combined in the neglect and abuse that pulled them out of their parent’s home.

In our office, we’ll learn together how to help your family combine a new story with your own. We’ll walk with your pain of disappointment and background, along with their pain. We’ll work the dual paths of attachment—parental patience, love, and learning to parent, and their ability to take in safe structure and love.

The core goal of parenting an adopted child is attachment. Our goal is to help you learn the unique aspects of parenting that come through learning to build fences and boundaries without barbs. From embracing their ethnicity and cultural story into your families, to adjusting parenting for trauma awareness, to finding compassion for birth parents, we hope to look at the whole story. In our office, we’ll both do play that focuses on building sensed safety and connection.

Call or email today if you want to chat more or make an appointment.